


If At First You Don't Suceed

by fabulousweapon



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Bad Sex, Coming Out, Comment Fic, Fabulousweapon Prompt Party fill, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-03
Updated: 2011-06-03
Packaged: 2017-10-20 02:31:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/207826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabulousweapon/pseuds/fabulousweapon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Oh fuck oh fuck oh FUCK! Danny you can’t just fucking stick it in like that!”<br/>“Well what the hell do you want me to do? ‘Fuck me, Danny.’ Those were your words. ‘I want to feel you inside me.’ I can’t be inside you if I don’t put my dick in Steven.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	If At First You Don't Suceed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [loki256](https://archiveofourown.org/users/loki256/gifts).



> Original prompt:  
> how about some kind of bad-first-sex fic? like they have the classic "oh, he likes me too" moment and the kissing and everything is good, but the sex is comically bad... im not sure where im going with this, but it just jumped into my head and i hope i finds a home in yours...

“Oh fuck oh fuck oh FUCK! Danny you can’t just fucking stick it in like that!”

“Well what the hell do you want me to do? ‘Fuck me, Danny.’ Those were your words. ‘I want to feel you inside me.’ I can’t be inside you if I don’t put my dick in Steven.”

His dick twitched at the thought, realizing where it was and Steve clenched down hard, gritting his teeth in pain.

“STOP MOVING! Fuck! Stop twitching. DON’T TWITCH DANNY!”

“I CAN’T HELP IT! MY DICK IS IN HEAVEN RIGHT NOW! DOES YOURS LISTEN TO COMMAND STEVEN? Actually, don’t answer that because I bet it does. Was that part of your SEAL training? Keep your dick from twitching when placed in a warm, tight hole? Really? Is that were my tax money is going?”

Steve ripped the sheets, hands clenching and releasing, trying to breath through the pain.

“Danny, I am fairly certain that you don’t just fucking stick your dick in without any prep. When you said, ‘Flip over Steven.’ I assumed you’d at least stretch me. You’ve never done anal before? If this is how you did it I fucking pity the woman you fucked.”

Danny’s temper flared. He pulled his dick out slightly, and rammed it back in.“I have never had a fucking complaint before now Steven. If you want me to stop, stop bitching and say so.” He pulled out, and slammed in again for good measure.

A moan ripped from Steve’s throat. “Fuck Danny. Fuck. Hit there again.”

The blond’s breath caught at the sound of his partner’s voice. “You like that?” He pressed in again, the same way for good measure.

“Ye-ah…” Steve groaned, hands tearing an even bigger hole in Danny’s sheets. It hurt, God it fucking hurt, but something in him flared with pleasure when Danny thrust in. “Speed up.”

He reached back and gripped Danny’s hip, pulling him closer, adjusting the angle, then thrusting back onto Danny’s dick.

“It figures,” Danny gasped, “that you’d be fucking pushy during sex.”

He speed up though, and the moans from Steve grew louder and louder.

Suddenly a loud banging on his wall startled them both, sending Danny forward into Steve, causing the other to lose his balance and topple off the pullout.

“GLAD YOU’RE FINALLY FUCKING GETTING SOME BUT KEEP IT THE FUCK DOWN. IT’S BIGGEST LOSER TIME ASSHOLE!!!”

Danny turned bright red, then started to laugh. “Figures. That fucking figures,” he muttered to himself.  
He raised his voice back. “IF YOU’VE GOT SUCH A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH IT CALL THE COPS! OH WAIT ASSHOLE, THAT’S RIGHT! I AM A FUCKING COP. WANT ME TO COME OVER THERE AND ARREST YOU FOR THE FUCKING POT YOU WERE SMOKING A FEW HOURS AGO???”

He was met with silence. “Didn’t think so. Fuckers.”

He stared at the edge of the pullout, from which Steve had yet to return. “Babe, come here. There’s no way we’re fucking done yet.”

Nothing.

“Babe?”

He peered over the edge of the bed to see his partner knocked out on the floor, a huge bruise beginning to color his forehead.

“Fuck! Steve? STEVEN?” He launched himself off the bed, shaking his partner’s shoulder. Then his phone began to chirp out Chin’s ringtone.

“Fuck, what do you want?” he snapped, answering, shifting Steve over so that he could see the extent of the damage.

“Damn brah, you’re pissy like you had to sleep on the sofa last night. Oh wait, you did.” Danny felt murderous when he heard Kono’s muffled laughter in the background.

“Hardy fucking har. Fuck you both. What do you want? I’m trying to wake up Steve. Can’t this wait?”

Kono laughed harder, not bothering to muffle it this time. “What, you both pass out after you fucked him into the sofa finally?”

“”No, I fucked him off the sofa and he hit his head on the way down and won’t fucking wake up.”

He was met with dead silence on the other line. Fuck.

“Oh, um… Well congrats brah. It’s about time you two got in each other’s pants. You need an ambulance?” Chin asked hesitantly.

Steve eye’s fluttered open, blinking in confusion. “Danny?”

Danny looked down gratefully. “You are such a fucking clutz for a SEAL, I swear. He’s awake guys. No ambulance. I got it.”

“Have fun! Be safe! Remember, condoms and lube. Condoms and lube.” He could hear the grin on Kono’s face.

Steve blinked up at him painfully. “Did you really just fuck me off your freaking sofa, and tell the wonder twins about it?”

Danny shrugged, unable to hold back a relieved laugh. “Like they wouldn’t have figured it out anyway.”

Steve sat up, wincing and rubbing his head.

“You know, I know a good pain killer.”

“Danny, I don’t want pills.”

The blond grinned, and grabbed Steve’s dick. “Not talking about Motrin. More like endorphins…”

Steve met his eyes and winced. “Here we go again. It can only get better right?”

Danny didn’t bother answering, just buried Steve’s dick further up his throat and nodded. They’d get it right eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still accepting prompts for my Prompt Party!  
> Here's the link if you want to submit yours:  
> http://fabulousweapon.livejournal.com/22486.html#cutid1


End file.
